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Jan. 27th, 2013


It seems like no matter what I do I cannot get my diva cup to sit in place/seal properly this month. BLOOD EVERYWHERE. Aaaaugh.

And as long as I'm under a cut, I can't deal with my mother. I know she's depressed, but she's also just stupid, and I don't even know what to do about my own life.

In re: my own life, I don't know what to do. If I had any job at all, I would have more time to think, but no one will hire me for any job at all. In terms of career, my ultimate goal never changed, but I guess now I'm finally willing to accept that it has to. I can't do school without emotional support, and I'll almost certainly never have it, which I admit is due to my own failings. I don't know of anything in the vague field of "making a difference" that I can aim for without a degree. Not having any connections has always been a major problem, but I don't know how to get them without... already having connections? or suddenly getting rid of my mental problems.

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And it breaks my heart

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